In the Little Things.

Monday evening was the first hospital run for one of my kids.  Caden had gotten off our bed and was walking around it near my closet when his face contorted in pain and he let out a deep scream.  Tears ran down his face.  I thought he had stubbed his toe.  We all know how much that can hurt.  I've broken a toe from stubbing it.  In this case, I was certain he had stubbed it hard and would be fine in a few minutes.  Caden is a very sensitive boy.  He feels pain deeply and becomes anxious quickly.  Just as an example, when being a ring bearer for dear friends, Caden was terrified of walking down the aisle.  And, last summer, when he had gotten bug spray in his eyes and we had to wash them out, he panicked in fear and it took us holding him down to rinse out his eyes.  However, yesterday, he had a legitimate reason to be upset. When I took a look at his foot, he had a piece of wood sticking into it.  I immediately called my mom, who pulled the piece out while I held him.  We were both fairly certain that there was another piece still in his foot so I got him ready and took him to Urgent Care.

After a few hours wait, we got called into a room.  The nurse came in and looked and said yes, there was indeed something still in his foot.  She said that the doctor would come in shortly and would likely have to probe a little harder.  Caden heard that and started to panic again.  He had been calm while we were waiting as he had TV to entertain and distract him.  Now, it was getting real.  Before the doctor came in, Brennan arrived to relieve me as the baby needed me at home.

Here is where I started to take stock of all of the little things that God saw us through.  I will get to that in a moment.  First, let me tell you that Brennan came home and informed me that, after having to hold Caden down while giving him a shot to freeze his foot, the doctor had to slice his foot open to retrieve a piece of wood that was 1.3 cm long.  As Caden was lying on his tummy and the doctor was working, Brennan distracted him with silly stories of what happened at dinner with the girls and he read to him from the book we had brought along.  Caden told me later that there was a lot of blood on the bed where the doctor had been working.

Later, as I was getting ready for bed, the incident played itself over again in my head.  I wondered if I could have done something different…something better.  I wondered how I could have saved him from all of this.  And then, I was reminded of the list I had started, and even shared a bit with Caden, of how God had seen us through this.

First, when the injury happened, my mom and Harry (her husband) were here and I was able to call for help.  I didn't have to deal with it on my own.  And, since they were here, I was able to use their car as Brennan had not yet come home from school for the day.  Then, when we arrived at Urgent Care, I was able to find a parking space that, though it was far away from the hospital, it was free.  And, we were able to walk through another building and overpass to get to Urgent Care and we didn't have to walk around the block in the frigid cold temperatures we are experiencing right now.  While we waited to be seen, we found a space in the waiting room dedicated to kids, empty.  Caden had a tv where he could watch kid friendly shows all by himself.  When Brennan came to switch with me, he came at just the right time.  He was there to be the one to hold Caden down, see the blood, and get him bandaged up.  God knew that my disposition is one of which that would have been extremely difficult for me.  And though Brennan had accidentally left the interior light on in the van, it still started and I was able to drive home to care for Jonny.

God was gracious in the little things, which really, were not little at all.  You see, I am not strong.   Especially when it comes to my kids.  I want to take their pain away.  I want to protect them from anyone or thing that could possibly hurt them.  Ever!! And this is just the first incident!!  Likely, just the beginning.  God graciously showed me how, though they will get hurt in this life, He will be there in the little things.  And He will gently see me (and them) through the things I would normally panic in by tenderly prodding me forward through the pain all the while cradling my heart in His very capable hands.
I WILL be afraid for them again.  But He will be there.
I WILL hurt for them again.  But He will be there.
He experienced the greatest loss, the greatest heartbreak, the greatest pain…and now He sees me through the little things.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  

For when I am weak, then I am strong.  

-2 Corinthians 12:8-10

2013 Summer Update

Dear friends and family, It's official... we've waited way too long to send an update letter out. In an attempt to correct this while inviting you into our world a little deeper, we have decided to being doing video updates! This is very exciting for us because it offers you a clearer window through which you can see who we are and what we do. We hope you enjoy and please leave comments if you feel led.


2013 Summer Support Message web from Cedarwood on Vimeo.

This is the link you can follow to donate online. The organization is called Canada Helps and they are the ones who will receipt you for your donation, not YFC. Please just be sure to include our names in the notes section to be sure that your donation goes to the right place.

One last quick thing...
We would love to send you a photo of our family for your fridge! These will be heading out to our current supporters via snail mail this week sometime... but if you're not on our list and would like to be, please click here and send us your address info!

Click here to get on our Snail mail list

Thanks!!!

Creation and Christ..What a Combination!!

Camp life is beautiful. It is tough and tiring and perfectly beautiful. As I write this I am sitting on a cozy couch in a cozy cabin with our sliding deck door open to a symphony of blowing leaves. Storms that drive towards you in a wall across the lake, sunsets that put Monet and daVinci to shame, and an opportunity to live out my faith in a VERY tangible way...it's just beautiful!! I have 3 children, I help my husband lead a team of about 50 staff, half of them my Cedar-ladies, and every week a new batch of campers...I AM exhausted...and SO content. There is no way else for me to describe it but PURE JOY!! And every once in a while, my Lord sees fit to slow me down enough to remind me how truly joyful and beautiful this place is. Every towering tree, whisper of wind, washing of wave and soaking sunbeam...and the Gospel of Christ shared with young people!!! Awesome INDEED!! How blessed am I!!!

And there you shall eat before the LORD your God, and you shall rejoice, you and your households, in all that you undertake, in which the LORD your God has blessed you.

- Deuteronomy 12:7

3 Children...and MONTHS later

It has been MUCH too long since I last posted. And life has changed. We have come home from camp, settled into the new house and had a third baby!!Nothing minimal in the way WE do life!
Here are just a few lessons I have learned from these changes over the past few months:
a) God is INCREDIBLY gracious about walking His people through changes in life.
b) God is even more gracious in changing His people in those changes in life.
c) God has blessed us with amazing friends, family, and church family who support us through changes.
d) I am only human...and a sinful one at that.
Now, some of these lessons may seem redundant to you, especially point (d) but it has been increasingly overwhelmingly in my face - I AM HUMAN...and GOD IS NOT!!! Praise God for this truth. It's a relief to me that since I can't do everything, fix everything, or be everything anyway, I can go to my Maker who can, does, and is! What a relief! Isn't it funny how God teaches you new lessons in old ones?
I am pretty sure I have said this before and I know I have learned this lesson before, but this time I am learning that it applys to a new chapter in my life - being a mother of 3. I am blessed in that I have never struggled with postpartum depression, but I can't say that I haven't struggled with sleep deprived hormonal roller coasters resulting in bursts of frustration, tears, or hysteric laughter over something that isn't all that funny. It's pretty crazy, I know! And yet, I feel like I truly cannot control it. Any of it! That, to me, is the worst of it. There are times when these emotions come on that I can't get a grip! In my head, I can walk through it all very logically and even talk through it (or write about it) as if I am disconnected. And then, in some moments...KABOOM - emotion explodes like a balloon that was blown too big and had no where to go but into pieces.
And yet, through it all, I have AMAZING people who live with me and love me still - a husband who is SO forgiving; kids who give great hugs; a mom who supports in every moment, no matter how ugly; a sister who challenges me to be Christ-like (probably without even knowing she is); and the list goes on with people I DON'T live with and yet love in moments - facebook messages, emails, phone calls, food deliveries, visits, and coffee dates :) My life is richer because I face change and REALLY do life with these people!
PRAISE GOD for MY PEOPLE - MY FAMILY!!

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
-1 John 4:7

Moving

I have honestly done my very best not to complain - primarily online. I see those that complain on Facebook or through blogs as just not using their time and online voice appropriately. But, I have allowed myself this today - I am jumping on the "complain through my blog" bandwagon!! You see, moving is HARD! I have two small children, I am 4 months pregnant, and moving is H-A-R-D!!! I have been blessed with an amazing husband who has taken on most of the moving load plus who has been the brunt of my moody moments and moving in with my Mom and sister has helped in that they have been HUGE supports, although they also have at times been the receivers of "the moods of Rhonda". And, on our actual moving day my dear Mother-in-law was on hand to take our kids for the whole day so we could actually get work done without little people under foot...but all of this said - MOVING IS HARD!!! And tiring. And frustrating. AND overwhelming. And I have felt a few times that I might be at the very end of my tether...about ready to SNAP!! It is only by the absolute mercy of my Father that, in His kindness, He has seen fit to give me what I need when I need it; to offer me compassion even when I don't offer it to others; to see me in those dark moody moments and remind me of my salvation that was brought about by the darkest of moments on the cross of Christ. And so my complaining of how hard moving is is really a reminder of how big and sovereign and endless is the love of Christ.
And, for those that are tired of my moods or ranting, here are some before pictures of our new house! The after pictures will come...after! :)

The 1st shot is from the dining room looking into the living room. The 2nd is the office. The 3rd is looking from the dining room into the foyer and up the stairs.


The 2 views of the living room. The 1st shot is look towards the front of the house; the 2nd is toward the back.



The views of the kitchen. The top two are looking at the back door; the bottom is looking from the back door into the kitchen.

Annabelle's room is/will be the one on the left (it is no longer that color) and Caden's room is the one on the right (it did stay blue).


This will be the baby's nursery/play room for the kids.


Our master bedroom and the view out our big bay window
(the water you see is a wading pool that has been filled by rain. It is only one of two soft-bottom pools in the city - so I have been told).


This is the 700 square foot loft that is currently being renovated into 2 bedrooms and a 4 piece bathroom for my Mom and Jasmine. When it's all done, it will be GORGEOUS!!


So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.

- 2 Corinthians 5:9

Catch Up...and A Great Mother's Day

Seeing as I haven't blogged in a while, I have a few things to catch you up on!

We recently had our very first (and the first ever) Leadership Retreat at Cedarwood with our Leadership team for the summer. It was a great time of focus, bonding, and planning. We spent three days going over our Staff Training Schedule, planning for some program and skills items and praying over characteristics we want to model and encourage in our staff. We also had the honor of hearing our dear friend Willy Martens challenge us on living and exemplifying integrity as leaders. It was a great time together!

We had the fabulous opportunity to go as a family to my 12th week of pregnancy Doctors appointment. I was checked and given a clean bill of health. And, we had a beautiful moment of hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time. It always blows my mind to hear a heart of a little person growing inside me, but it was even more awaking to see it through the eyes of Caden and Annabelle. I don't think Annabelle totally understood what was happening, but Caden sure did. He lovingly commented that the noise of the "woosh woosh woosh" of the little heart sounded like a dog. That's through the eyes and ears of a 3 year old.

I have now reached my 13th (almost 14th) week of pregnancy and am feeling much better! I still get tired quickly, especially if we have a busy day, but at least I don't feel as sick and blah-ish anymore. As I have reflected back to my first two pregnancies and have considered the difference in this one, I am convinced that God shows the personality of these little people even through pregnancy. Now, before you think I am crazy, consider why. With Caden, I felt great. Large, but great. It was a very easy pregnancy with minor morning sickness for about a week. And, even then, he was so laid back that at times I had to give him a shove to get him to kick. When I think back to my pregnancy with Annabelle, I see how the intensity of my emotions and hormones and the rate at which she kicked and moved were examples of the little Princess we now have in her. She knows what she wants and goes after it with gusto. I have been told by my Mom that she reminds her much of a little redhead from years ago :). That all being said, I now consider, not the gender of this new little person, but rather the character of this little person. I am throwing it out there that I think we may have either a very strong and passionate boy or a calm and even girl. Sounds crazy maybe, but we shall see!!

And to finish off today, I must tell you about my fabulous Mother's Day! The day started off with my beautiful kids giving me a fabulous card that they (and Brennan of course) had made. Both Annabelle and Caden had colored and cut and "written" little messages to me. Even Baby #3 had drawn me a beautiful little flower!! Then, we had a great church morning where we shared in the dedication of parents and babes and were reminded by our Lead Pastor, Al, that the family is the first place to disciple. I love our church and how I walk away with something every service!! Then, as we were leaving church, Caden gave me a card that he had made for me in Sunday School. The teachers had asked him questions and then wrote down his answers. These are too great to not share (Caden's answers are in bold):

My mom's name is RHONDA
She makes the best SOUP
(I love this because I almost never make him soup)
My mom loves GOIN' THE BEACH
(I am assuming these are his words exactly. And he is right...I do!!)
I love my mom because GOES APPLEBEES
(Again, his words exactly. Now, you have to understand, when we ask Caden what we should have for lunch or dinner, his answer is either McDonald's, Subway, or Applebees. I guess he loves me most because of Applebees :) )

And then later on, we went out for a great Thai dinner with my family. It was a great day. The best part, even after all this, came after dinner when we were in the van. Brennan and I had decided to stop for Gelati and so we had to quickly get out some cash. I ran into 7-11 and when I returned, Brennan said "Caden, sing that song for Mommy." Caden then began to sing Jesus Loves Me all by himself. He knows the WHOLE song. When we asked him if he sang the song that morning, he said no. My son is BRILLIANT! I have sung that song and I know that they sing it in Kid's Church so I know he has heard it but suddenly he decided to sing it on his own! It was by far, the best Mother's Day present!!

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 6:5-7

It is not from us that our children will receive their Heirloom. Only God can
give himself to those who receive the inheritance. But we can praise the Lord that he
allows us be part of his plan for bringing his children to himself, that he uses us to
reveal to our children the beauty of our Heirloom—God.

May the ceremonies of our homes be true ceremony—
from him,
because of him,
pointing toward him,
honoring him,
thanking him.
Amen.

Noel Piper, Treasuring God in Our Traditions, pg 105

PS Check out my WONDERFUL WORDS section for more of our favorite quotes!!

A Not Long, but FULL Weekend

A new tradition has started with my sisters and I. We have made it a goal to have a sleep over once a month. You heard me right - a sleep over. And that is just what we did this past Friday. My two older sisters, my younger sister, as well as a new and dear friend who just moved to Canada made up the montley crew of us. We had pizza, chocolate fondue, and a movie. Plus, very crazy conversation. You see, when you get my sisters and I together, we "converse" about everything. I say "converse" because sometimes people could mistake it for arguing. Really, it's not. We are just loud. There is, of course, tons of love, but also a lot of noise. This Friday was no different. Our conversations ranged from teens and cell phones to male/female friendships. It was FABULOUS! I love those times.

Then, on Saturday, Brennan and I had a long awaited date to CBC's live taping of "The Debaters" at the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. It's a show where two comedians debate on ranging topics with one comedic mediator. This Saturday we saw 6 debates (which will be aired as 3 different shows) with topics like - "Stay at Home Dads - are they real men?" and "Curling - is it a real sport". Brennan is a HUGE fan of CBC and listens to the show regularly. I bought him tickets to the taping for Christmas but it was almost like a birthday present for him since his birthday was just last month.

And to end the weekend, we had a fabulous opportunity to share in a friend's baptism at church and a great lunch afterward. What was one of the coolest parts of the whole thing was that in her testimony/story, she shared that God used a bunch of conversations between her, Brennan, and myself to really challenge and grow her. Now, I am always amazed at the amazing beauty of the Holy Spirit power in the midst of a verbal proclamation of Christ through baptism, but it's beyond what I can describe to know that God used something that I (and Brennan) might have said or done. It is just SO honoring!! And it was a huge confirmation that our ministry at Cedarwood touches lives in those that have heard the Gospel once or twice but also in those that have heard it thousands of times. We have the awesome honor (I really don't know what other word to use) of playing a role in growing people for Christ - our campers AND our staff!! And I know because I was one of them!! God used Cedarwood to break me of my need for anyone or anything but Him. He brought me there to a place of complete loneliness to remind me that I am NEVER alone! What an AMAZING God we serve!!! And then, to top it off, God glorified Himself further at the lunch afterward by allowing us to have a recruiting conversation for a position we have much need to fill - male counselor/radio host. It was beautiful!!

And then, to finish the day, our little boy had a couple of firsts.

Caden got to go into Silver City Movie Theater with Brennan when he had to buy some tickets. He had never been in the theater before and he was quite enthralled with the gigantic movie displays. In fact, he was so impressed with the fist of the Iron Man character, he pounded it with him.

And then, on the ride home...yup, that's his first Slurpee.
What can I say? Like mother, like son. I'm so proud!! :)

It was a great weekend. Full of laughs, craziness, and TONS of opportunities for us to say:

Who is like you, O LORD, among the gods?
Who is like you, majestic in holiness,
awesome in glorious deeds, doing wonders?

- Exodus 15:11

NO ONE I'd say!!!