In the Little Things.

Monday evening was the first hospital run for one of my kids.  Caden had gotten off our bed and was walking around it near my closet when his face contorted in pain and he let out a deep scream.  Tears ran down his face.  I thought he had stubbed his toe.  We all know how much that can hurt.  I've broken a toe from stubbing it.  In this case, I was certain he had stubbed it hard and would be fine in a few minutes.  Caden is a very sensitive boy.  He feels pain deeply and becomes anxious quickly.  Just as an example, when being a ring bearer for dear friends, Caden was terrified of walking down the aisle.  And, last summer, when he had gotten bug spray in his eyes and we had to wash them out, he panicked in fear and it took us holding him down to rinse out his eyes.  However, yesterday, he had a legitimate reason to be upset. When I took a look at his foot, he had a piece of wood sticking into it.  I immediately called my mom, who pulled the piece out while I held him.  We were both fairly certain that there was another piece still in his foot so I got him ready and took him to Urgent Care.

After a few hours wait, we got called into a room.  The nurse came in and looked and said yes, there was indeed something still in his foot.  She said that the doctor would come in shortly and would likely have to probe a little harder.  Caden heard that and started to panic again.  He had been calm while we were waiting as he had TV to entertain and distract him.  Now, it was getting real.  Before the doctor came in, Brennan arrived to relieve me as the baby needed me at home.

Here is where I started to take stock of all of the little things that God saw us through.  I will get to that in a moment.  First, let me tell you that Brennan came home and informed me that, after having to hold Caden down while giving him a shot to freeze his foot, the doctor had to slice his foot open to retrieve a piece of wood that was 1.3 cm long.  As Caden was lying on his tummy and the doctor was working, Brennan distracted him with silly stories of what happened at dinner with the girls and he read to him from the book we had brought along.  Caden told me later that there was a lot of blood on the bed where the doctor had been working.

Later, as I was getting ready for bed, the incident played itself over again in my head.  I wondered if I could have done something different…something better.  I wondered how I could have saved him from all of this.  And then, I was reminded of the list I had started, and even shared a bit with Caden, of how God had seen us through this.

First, when the injury happened, my mom and Harry (her husband) were here and I was able to call for help.  I didn't have to deal with it on my own.  And, since they were here, I was able to use their car as Brennan had not yet come home from school for the day.  Then, when we arrived at Urgent Care, I was able to find a parking space that, though it was far away from the hospital, it was free.  And, we were able to walk through another building and overpass to get to Urgent Care and we didn't have to walk around the block in the frigid cold temperatures we are experiencing right now.  While we waited to be seen, we found a space in the waiting room dedicated to kids, empty.  Caden had a tv where he could watch kid friendly shows all by himself.  When Brennan came to switch with me, he came at just the right time.  He was there to be the one to hold Caden down, see the blood, and get him bandaged up.  God knew that my disposition is one of which that would have been extremely difficult for me.  And though Brennan had accidentally left the interior light on in the van, it still started and I was able to drive home to care for Jonny.

God was gracious in the little things, which really, were not little at all.  You see, I am not strong.   Especially when it comes to my kids.  I want to take their pain away.  I want to protect them from anyone or thing that could possibly hurt them.  Ever!! And this is just the first incident!!  Likely, just the beginning.  God graciously showed me how, though they will get hurt in this life, He will be there in the little things.  And He will gently see me (and them) through the things I would normally panic in by tenderly prodding me forward through the pain all the while cradling my heart in His very capable hands.
I WILL be afraid for them again.  But He will be there.
I WILL hurt for them again.  But He will be there.
He experienced the greatest loss, the greatest heartbreak, the greatest pain…and now He sees me through the little things.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  

For when I am weak, then I am strong.  

-2 Corinthians 12:8-10